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The issues discussed below highlight the many domestic violence facts and point out the typical dynamics that occur with domestic abuse. There are distinct red flags or warning signs, such as derogatory name-calling, jealousy and possessiveness. These domestic violence warning signs should not be dismissed but paid attention to. 

The Myth: If a couple is having problems involving domestic problems it is because they don’t have a good relationship. Maybe it’s because they don’t know how to communicate properly.

Domestic Violence Facts: Poor relationships do not cause domestic violence situations. The truth is that improving their relationship will not end the violence. Violent behavior is learned. There are many couples all over the world in a bad relationship, but they never become physically abusive or violent. Many batterers display violence in all of their relationships, good and bad. The domestic violence facts are that the one who is violent is the source and cause of the violence.

The thought that a bad or poor relationship causes violence to occur in the home is a very common, and very dangerous misconception regarding domestic violence. First and foremost it encourages both parties, especially the victim, to minimize the gravity of the problem and instead to focus on “improving their relationship”. This is in the mistaken hope that this will cause the violence to stop. This allows the abuser to put the blame on the poor relationship and their violent acts get blamed on the victim, instead of forcing the abuser to acknowledge and take responsibility for their violent behavior.  The domestic violence facts are that violence is never ok.

The Myth: Domestic violence occurs due to stress, like financial pressures, losing a job, or problems in the marriage.

Domestic Violence Facts: Everyone on earth has stress. Everyday life is packed with stress from work, money issues, family pressures, and/or other personal relationships. We all respond differently to stress.

Violence is a specific behavior, which is learned and that the person chooses to use in response to stress, whether it is actually real or only imagined. There are high levels of domestic violence that might be related to social or financial issues, like the loss of a job, but there are other responses than erupting in violence that are more civilized alternatives. The domestic violence facts is that there are people who take their frustrations out in healthy ways, while others use unhealthy behaviors, such abusing drugs and/or alcohol, or taking their frustrations out on others using verbal or physical abuse and/or violence.

The Myth: The victim must have done something wrong that provoked the violence.

Domestic Violence Facts: There is no one that deserves to be abused, battered, beaten, threatened or victimized by violence in any way, shape or form. Batterers and abusers will rarely, if ever admit that they caused the problem. They will blame their violence and abuse on the victim in order to control and manipulate them and other people around her. Batterers and abusers will excuse their violence by blaming the victim and saying “You are trying to make me jealous” or “You’re the one who made me angry”. They will attempt to rationalize their conduct by saying “Everyone behaves like this”. Most victims adapt a routine of placating and pleasing their abusers in an attempt to calm them down and deescalate the situation. The domestic violence facts are that the batterer and abuser is choosing their behavior and they and they alone bear full responsibility for their violent actions. 

The Myth: Batterers just lose total control when they act violent. They have no idea what they’re actually doing when they go into these violent rages.

Domestic Violence Facts: If batterers and abusers went totally out of control as they often claim happens during their violent tirades, there would certainly be a lot more homicides as a result. The facts are that most batterers and abusers are “in control” of their behavior of violence and as a result they make sure the bruises and injuries can’t be seen by outsiders. The bruises and injuries are under the hair or on the torso. The domestic violence facts is that researchers have discovered that incidents of domestic violence occurs in cycles, with episodes being preceded by a foreseeable, repeated patterns of specific behaviors and deliberate choices made by the batterer.

Because our treatment for depression relies on evidence based practices, our Intensive Outpatient Program shares many common methods with other successful treatment methods.  The foundation of our treatment program for relies on the principles of the stages of change, cognitive behavioral therapy, solution focused treatment, skills training and identifying repetitive dysfunctional behavioral relationship patterns to promote recovery by addressing domestic violence facts, depression and other mental health disorders that can result from domestic violence.  In facts, our Intensive Outpatient Program in Memphis, TN that has been proven to be effective in the treatment of these disorders in six peer reviewed treatment outcome studies.   Our treatment center provides services to those who need more treatment than one hour a week, but less than 24 hour care, by providing three hours of treatment per day, three to five days per week, in an intensive outpatient setting.  If you or a loved one is showing signs of depression or anxiety, they should be assessed by a trained mental health professional who can help design a treatment plan for depression that can result in recovery.  Treatment for depression and anxiety can be highly successful.  Call us at 901-682-6136 to schedule an appointment.